I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
