"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
