U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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