we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
