ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize