Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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