Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
