HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
