69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
