By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
