She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
