Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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