hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
