He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
