sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
