I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
