We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
