I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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