Do you still have your period?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Randomize
