Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
