so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
