I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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