So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
