Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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