big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
