Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Randomize
