dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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