and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
