So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
