Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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