My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
