So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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