? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
