Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
