I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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