She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
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