If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's blow job season.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
