piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Fuck appropriateness.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
