Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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