Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
