I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
