The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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