i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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