why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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