dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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