i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I didn't notice because vodka
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
