my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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