Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize