didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
