i already hear my dad disowning me
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
