I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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