turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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