She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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