So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
