I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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