My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
