I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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