So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
