Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize