quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
where does the pee come out of this thing
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
