it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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