He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
