i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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