saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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