You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
