Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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