Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
