And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How drunk are you?
Completed.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
