rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
