it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
