I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
