Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I bet he comes in French.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Sober January is a disaster.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
